What’s So Terrible About Short Guys, Ladies?

What if he doesn’t have Short Guy’s Disease?

Al Pacino is eye level with Tom Cruise at 5'7", but it hasn’t stopped him from bedding some of Hollywood’s most beautiful women. Photo by Barakaldo Digital on FlickrCC0 2.0

Ladies, and by this I mean single ladies, I ask you — what is this problem you have with short men?

I mean sure, okay, maybe if they have Short Guy’s Disease.

Taller than me by an inch, but only with both heels on the ground.

That is, as many know, the condition some men acquire when they feel they have to overcompensate for their perceived ‘short’comings by acting like a hyper-aggressive manspreader. Even if you’re small, you can act like a big dick.

Short guys have a reason to be fairly irritable — they’re discriminated against by women who overwhelmingly desire tall men. On every dating site, you’ll find women who want tall tall tall tall tall tall TALL TALL TALL!!! I really don’t get that. Who the hell cares if he’s short? I sure don’t, as long as he’s still taller than he is wide.

(Corollary for shallow men: Prospective women must be ‘athletic’, politically correct singledudespeak for THIN THIN THIN THIN THIN!!!)

Even older women — old enough to know better — buy into this size obsession. Haven’t they been through enough bad relationships, bad marriages, and bad treatment by idiot men who are tall and strong and can act like total dicks because — well, they can?

(Corollary: Good-looking women who act like bitches because the hotter they are, the more shit they know you’ll take.)

But no, some women never learn. Personally, I don’t give a damn how tall a guy is as long as he’s not @#$%in’ crazy or alcoholic. I think there’s such a thing as too tall. Many years ago, when I was still living in Connecticut, I had a Summer of Tall Men. One was a guy who was 6’3, an Internet friend I had a fling with in New York. The next was 6’4, who I met through a dating service. The one after that was 6’5, also through the dating service, and I was afraid to go back because the next one might be Lurch.

“So, what do you like to do for fun?” Image by skeeze from Pixabay

And no, I hadn’t specified ‘tall’ in my profile. These cloud-huffers came after me.

I concluded my maximum cut-off (ar ar) for tall men is 6’3″. My cut-off for short guys is —I don’t think I have one. I’m 5'3 myself and I’m not sure I even know any men shorter than I.

My big concerns are:

  • Is he crazy?

  • Is he alcoholic?

  • Does he do everything his dick tells him to?

  • Is he chronically depressed/life is over?

You’d be amazed how much response you get when you put in your profile, “Short guys welcome!”

(At least from those short men who bother to read profiles.)

A handy rule of dumb is that those with Short Guy’s Disease are like dogs. The littlest ones make the most noise.

Then there’s this guy: