Grow Some Labia! Is a place for women who want to reclaim their power and find their voice in a culture that’s often hostile to egalitarianism and a truly empowered feminism.
This is for those who believe in personal responsibility, owning your issues, and recognizing when you’re the one holding yourself back. And who want to change.
We've spent enough time analyzing the effect of 'the patriarchy' on women and how it holds us back; now let's talk about what we're doing to ourselves back. I blog on Medium and here about the limitations of today's victim narrative-centered feminism.
Where Do I start?
Grow Some Labia
Life Lessons We Can Learn From Pickup Artists
'The Game' is Neil Strauss's 2004 pickup artists manual on how to con women into bed, so loathed by feminists. I wanted to learn what pickup artists do so I can help women better repel these psychological games, but I came away far more impressed than I expected--there was a sound strategy we can learn for creating a workable plan to achieve your dreams, regardless of what sort of success you were trying to nail. There are life lessons here for *everyone*, regardless of what your idea of 'success' is. Who knew Tom Cruise would be the greatest of reason therein? My referenced articles: Patch Your Brain https://medium.com/thelma-louise/dont-be-the-victim-patch-your-brain-10c5cc2dbd21 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WFdV8KifmE My Self-Doubting Resistance Is The Frickin' Terminator https://nchardenet.medium.com/my-self-doubting-resistance-is-the-frickin-terminator-b53b7605debc?sk=45240238e6175256b863cbb2b9aa74a6 A great book on this inner Terminator is Steven Pressfield's The War of Art: Break Through The Blocks And Win Your Inner Creative Battles. I don't know Pressfield and have no connections to him but he's the reason why I've got a big FUCK YOU under a picture of The Terminator on my fridge. Pressfield's book is a quick but killer read, with many essays literally taking less than a minute to read. In other words, keep it next to your john! CREDITS: Music: Spider P**sy – Personal Use – Soundboard Romantic Fireside Date – Fesliyan Studios Folkvangr Viking Music – Alexander Nakrada Fólkvangr by Alexander Nakarada | https://www.serpentsoundstudios.com Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Boom – Jason Shaw – Audionautix High Octane – Bensound Happy rock – Bensound Sound effects: Female moan – Tim Kahn – Freesound Yeah baby – Personal Use – Soundboard Fail – CC0 – Wolfsinger Car skid – Mediartiums – Freesound I’ll be back – Terminator - Soundfxcenter Images: Neil Strauss – CC BY 2.0 – Wikimedia Commons The Terminator – CC 2.0 – Wikimedia Commons Woman & map – CC- - Public Domain Pictures Tom Cruise – CC 3.0 Unported – Wikimedia Commons BDSM – Artem Lubunsky – Unsplash poop emoji – free for commercial use – PxFuel Guy in purple vest – JJ Jordan – Unsplash sales & marketing – free for commercial use – Pxfuel headphones – Blaz Erzetic – Unsplash NLP book – Amazon cover NLP brain – Morgan Housel – Unsplash Reading – free for public use – Needpix Woman & map – CC0 Public domain - Needpix Fortune telling – Tumisu – Pixabay Test girl – Victoria Borodinova – Pixabay Psychological eye – Mathieu Stern – Unsplash cold reading – Neal Johnson – Unsplash Goldie Hawn – Tonynetone on Flickr Disgusted young girl - Free for public use - Pikrepo Ditch digging – free for public use – Pxfuel Fail – public domain Playmate – Ben and Asho - Flickr
Taking Your Power Back In Courtship II
In the conclusion of How To Take Back Your Power In Dating & Courtship, Chinedu Opara and I discuss the flirting by different, more believable characters Chinedu sees in his favourite TV show, and how the women in it take back their power; we talk about bullet points and boundaries when considering potential dates, honesty vs vulnerability, and knowing what you want before you put yourself out there. CREDITS: Martini glass - Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay woman in trees – Khusen Rustamov – Pixabay shy guy – CC0 public domain on Pxhere fail SFX – Wolfsinger - Freesound question boing – Augdog – Freesound Cool confident man – CC0 public domain – Pxhere Donald Trump – Gage Skidmore – Flickr Sexy beach girl by Max on Unsplash blue arrow – public domain – Needpix Couple on beach – public domain - Needpix Yay SFX – Reitanna – Cc0 Freesound Heavy metal sound – Fossa11 on Freesound Awooga sound effect – Poodaddy69 – Freesound The Ethical Slut cover – Amazon Balls – CC0 Public domain - Pxhere Hacker – Kalhh – Needpix Ta daaaa – Mike Koenig – Attrib 3.0 – Soundbible Blue arrow – public domain - Needpix
Taking Your Power Back In Courtship & Dating
We shook things up at Grow Some Labia for this episode when I invited my friend Chinedu to engage in a discussion on the dynamics of power in courtship and dating. Who really has it? Men? Women? Both? CREDITS: Couple fighting - Image by Mustafa shehadeh from Pixabay Couple in city – Public domain by Mark Milivojevic on Pixnio Woman eyeballing man at wedding - Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported by David Ball on WC
Boob Jobs & Butt Bleach & Brazilians, Oh My!
I’ve never objected to the sexes marketing reproductive potential. We primp, they lift weights, we pouf our hair, they stuff sausages down their pants. Personally, when it comes to looking hotter, I draw the line at drawing blood. If it requires surgery and doesn’t involve pre-existing damage (i.e., something got bitten off by a peevish moose), I’m out. Boob jobs, butt bleach and Brazilians? Anything that involves pain in my most sensitive areas is right out. Why the hell wouldn't it be for everyone else?
What If Women Refused To Shag Abusive Men?
What would the world look like? When abusive men (or people, since women can be abusive too) continue to get shagged it encourages them to stay abusive. I don't mean withholding sex; I mean *refusing to shag them at all*. If the dating pool for abusers was limited to only those who are truly desperate for a partner in their life, what would that mean for all the women these guys *couldn't* have? They'd have to change or die with their you-know-what in their hand. CREDITS: Images: Alyssa Milano – Greg 2600 – Wikimedia Commons Amber Heard – Public domain – Mepixels Banana – CC0 from Peakpx Beard – public domain – Needpix Bow Wow – Creative Common CC0 3.0 – Wikimedia Commons Chris Brown – Eva Rinaldi – CC0 2.0 – Wikimedia Commons Couple in bed – Sasin Tipchai – Pixabay Crowd – Public domain – Piqsels Doris Day – Skeeze – Needpix Johnny Depp – Georges Biard – CC0 3.0 – Wikimedia Commons Jose Canseco – Glenn Francis – GNU – Wikimedia Commons Statue – public domain – Pickpik Mel Gibson – Greg 2600 – CC0 2.0 – Wikimedia Commons Ray Rice – Keith Allison – CC0 2.0 – Wikimedia Commons Thumbs down woman – Rickey123 – Pixabay Richard Pryor – CC0 – Wikimedia Commons Sean Penn – Chrisa Hickey – CC0 3.0 – Wikimedia Commons Vintage muff – Samuel William Fores – Wikimedia Commons Woman at mirror – Gerd Altmann – Pixabay Sound: Violin Screech – no name – InstrumentalFX Weird metallic sound – Aarondbaron – Messed Thoughtful – Arulo – Mixkit Time Rider – FSM Team – Freestock Music Time Rider by | e s c p | https://escp-music.bandcamp.com Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Whodiniz – Piano Vibe – Free Music Archives Happy Rock – Bensound Heavy metal intro & outro – Fossa11 – Free Music Archives
How To Avoid Abuse - Patch Your Vulnerabilities!
What we don’t talk about nearly enough is what women can do to prevent becoming victims of abuse. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, right? Today we’re going to look at two of the psychological vulnerabilities women possess that are easily exploited by abusers. This is how women can take charge of their lives and reclaim their power. Men can do the same if they’re in abusive relationships. The dynamics aren’t much different. CREDITS: Music: Mellow Power – Beyond The Line – Bensound Thoughtful – Arulo – Mixkit Piano Vibes – Whodiniz – Free Music Archives Sad Day – Bensound Happy Rock – Bensound Hard Rock – Fossa111 - Freesound Fólkvangr by Alexander Nakarada | https://www.serpentsoundstudios.com Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Short But Strong! by Savfk | https://www.youtube.com/savfkmusic Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ SFX Fail - CC0 - Wolfsinger on Freesound The Patriarchy - Darryl 'Daz' Jones, Aspiring Filmmaker & Uninspiring Patriarchitect on Twitter @Randumbthawt Images: 2 kissing dogs - Craig Cochrane on Flickrjpg Angel on a cloud – royalty-free – Pickpik Angelic girl – public domain – Pickpik Medieval armour – awsloley – Pixabay Arrow – CC0 public domain - Maxpixel Female brain with gears – GDJ on Needpix Female computer network brain – Public Domain on Piqsels Don’t blame the victim meme from Friends – Needpix Meeting review – public domain on Pikist Office background – MagicDesk on Pixabay Office wall background – Bumiputra – Pixabay OJ – handsome – Gerald Johnson – Wikimedia Commons OJ – mug shot – George Sand – Wikimedia OJ – celebrating – OJ murder scene – Wikimedia Commons OJ – verdict headline – Sarah Sphar – Flickr Plastic brain – Pikrepo Poop emoji – Wikimedia Commons Red Flag – Wikimedia Commons Sandbox girls – CC0 4.0 International License Strong lock – CC0 public domain – Pxhere Vikings background- Pxfuel Woman with question mark – Needpix Woman peering over sunglasses – CC0 public domain by Sheila Brown SFX: The Patriarchy - Darryl 'Daz' Jones, Aspiring Bad Movie Filmmaker and Non-Patriarchitect @randumbthawt on Twitter Fail - Wolfsinger - CC0 on Freesound
When You Tell Your Truth, How Much Of It Is True?
The best we can do is tell the truth to the best of our ability. Many today are 'telling their truths', their stories that they perhaps had never told before. Oftentimes these stories are dark tales of abuse and mistreatment. Often they come from women, but sometimes they come from men (and I hope more men take the initiative and begin telling their truths too.) The problem is...how much of your truth is really *true*, and how much of it may be...the cognitive distortions of our own skewed views and interpretations. Do you even know? CREDITS: Graphics: Eight-fold Path – Wikimedia Commons Angry Woman – Prettysleepy1 – Needpix Cartoon couple fighting – Mote Oo Education – Pixabay Narcissist – Jason Saul – Flickr Psychopath – Kokoroza – Wikimedia Commons Gaslight still – Public Domain – Wikimedia Commons Masked woman – Public Domain – Pickpik Sneaky cartoon character – Public Domain - FreeSVG Smurf toy – Public Domain – PxFuel Frustrated Woman - Pexels Woman in woods thumbnail graphic - Nika Akin on Pixabay SFX: The Patriarchy - by chief butt-kicker Darryl 'Daz' Jones @randumbthawt on Twitter Music: Intro & outtro heavy rock by Fossa on Freesound Time Rider – Free Stock Music https://www.free-stock-music.com/time-rider.html Psychedelic/Rumble/Happy Rock – Bensound Hip Hop – LilyJ – Mixkit Optimistic-Inspirational – Mixaund – Free Stock Music https://www.free-stock-music.com/mixaund-optimistic-inspirational.html
What Would You Do To Stop Male Abuse?
What do you do when you hear a woman who sounds like she's in danger from a man and there are no men around to help? How far should we go to intervene? How much should we put our own lives in danger? How far are any of us willing to go to stop male abuse...if we can? I know men suffer from abuse at women's hands too. That's maybe a subject for another video! Here's what I had to say about the mutually abusive Johnny Depp/Amber Heard divorce.... Amber & Johnny: A Violent Tale With No Innocent Victims https://www.nicolechardenet.com/amber-johnny-a-violent-tale-with-no-innocent-victims CREDITS: ‘Abusive jerk getting chewed out’, editing assistant, motivational guru, fellow beach scout and beer provider – Darryl ‘Daz’ Jones @randumbthawt on Twitter Sound FX: Wooden Thump – Attrib 3.0 – Mike Koenig – Soundbible Girl quietly crying – Ame Angel of Sin – Freesound Body Fall – Blastwave FX – Zapsplat Bodyslam into wall – Nothayama – Freesound Door opening & closing – Partners In Crime – Free Sound Effects Box Thrown -Acorcuera – Freesound Throwing stuff – Pfranzen – Freesound Intro & outtro – Heavy rock by Fossa11 – Freesound Hard rock loop guitars – Zagi2 – Attrib 3.0 - Freesound Graphics & photos: Thumbnail photo – Gerd Altmann – Pixabay