Top Ten Ways Romney/Obama Can Hose Up The Election

 MITT ROMNEY: 10. Caught unaware on a hidden camera addressing Operation Rescue and saying, “You know I agree with Richard Mourdock, but cut me some slack, you know  I can’t say rape babies are a gift from God on the campaign trail.” 9. Find out his binders of women were comprised of sexual harassment complaints. 8. Used illegals to install his car elevator. 7. Defense...
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Top 10 Things A Man Should Never Do On A First Date

10.  A man should not show up drunk and an hour and a half late.  You’d think after 32 years of MADD threats and all those scary gross movies they made us watch in Driver’s Ed that no one needed to be reminded of brains and gore and guts splattered all over the highway like some horrendous Jackson Pollock road pizza.  Well, apparently you do, and you know who you are, even though I...
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Top Ten Reasons Why You Should Vote For This Dog In 2012

We’re debating politics Chez Chardenet over a Thanksgiving buffet lunch, and while discussing Obama’s many failures I said, “He should never have tried to work with the Republicans.  They’re like animals at this point; you can’t reason with them.  You might as well try to reason with the dog!”  And someone said, “The dog would probably be more reasonable,” and...
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Top Ten Reasons Why Bible-Thumpers Would Really Hate It If Jesus Came Back

Conservative Christians love to yammer on and on about what a great guy Jesus was and how He came once and He’ll come again (not going to make any wiseass dirty remarks here, and you are SO going to hell for sniggering like that!) and how we should all be more like Him. Well, I’m entirely certain that the LAST thing some of these Bible-thumper types (NOT to be confused with sane,...
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J.B.’s Top Ten Ways To Kill A Man

This just in…the Fluidity of Time book blog run by self-described book addict Jo just ran this Top Ten Ways To Kill A Man list based on the character J.B. from Young Republican, Yuppie Princess.  However it’s gone now so I’ll just grab it from my web site.  J.B. is the self-described ‘holistic hitman’ who knows 27 different ways to kill a man and at least as many...
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An Immodest Proposal: Top Ten Reasons Why We Should Eat The Rich

Since the economy is in a shambles and we can’t count on Washington or the EU to help us, I offer this fix as an (Im)Modest Proposal: Let’s eat the rich! I want to make it perfectly clear that I’m not suggesting anything barbaric, not like the nasty-ass dude who once suggested we eat the poor.  And not just any poor, but children!  What an appalling suggestion.  I hope that...
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